School 1945-1955 vs 2014. Author Unknown
SCHOOL-1945 -1955 vs. 20
Scenario :Johnny and Mark get into a fight after school.
1945 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.
2012 - Police called, and they arrest Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. Both children go to anger management programmes for 3 months. School governors hold meeting to implement bullying prevention programmes.
Scenario :
Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1945 - Robbie sent to the office and given six of the best by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2012 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADHD - result deemed to be positive. Robbie's parents get fbi-monthly disability payments and school gets extra funding from government because Robbie has a disability.
Scenario :
Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1945 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2012 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care; joins a gang; ends up in jail.
Scenario :
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1945 - Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with. Passes exams, becomes a solicitor.
2012- Police called, parents' car searched for drugs and weapons. Mark expelled from school for drug taking. Ends up as a drop out.
Scenario :
Johnny takes apart leftover fireworks from 24th of May, puts them in a paint tin & blows up a wasp's nest.1945 - Wasps die.
2012- Police & Anti-Terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly in an airplane again.
Scenario :
Johnny falls over while running during morning break and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. She hugs him to comfort him.
1945 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing football. No damage done.
2012 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy and ends up gay.How stupid we have become!
MY SUMMER AS FRED LENNON
I spent a very eventful holiday just after my divorce. A group of lads and I decided we would go to Europe together that year and I should use my car to chauffeur them around to see the sights. Coming with us was my German mate who strangely enough, had not been back to Germany before. His dad was a refugee from Nazi Germany so I suppose that had something to do with it. Anyway we had an eventful trip except for one of our party who was a bit straight laced and couldn’t take the stronger beer and was ill virtually every day. I have to admit we did trend to booze it up a bit on this trip. Anyway we had arranged to stop at one of Peter’s relatives near Stuttgart. We duly arrived late afternoon looking forward to a nice German meal - hopefully stuffed cabbage etc. The family had two young teenage kids and as soon as we walked through the door there was much pointing and mumbling. It transpired that the Beatles had been touring Germany and their pictures were literally everywhere. One of the kids brought out a poster and pointed to John Lennon and said to Pete in German he (pointing to me) looks just like John Lennon. Although that isn’t true, the image in the poster was very much like me and I was a bit of a trend setter (or was it an Irish setter?) in those days. So Pete told them the story that I was a cousin of John Lennon and my real name was Fred Lennon but we didn’t bandy it about in case of too much attention.
We had a great meal and a great evening and everyone was greatly amused with the Fred Lennon persona. On the way back to our hotel we met some hitchhikers and stopped to give them a lift. We also got the exact same reaction and recognition that I looked like John Lennon. So we spun the girls the same cock and bull story about Fred Lennon. They swallowed it hook line and sinker and feeling in a really buoyant mood over this harmless prank I found us taking them home on a 100 mile detour. Probably stupid but it was a great laugh to be Fred Lennon. Unfortunately I didn’t get the same adulation back in the UK. Ah well a pop star’s life is very fleeting.
ps Just 2 days later we had another adventure in Munich when a drunk Danish driver decided to reverse straight into us at the traffic lights. After a lot of argy barge the Police arrested the driver and wanted us to produce our passports which were still at the hotel. So they took me, as the owner of the car, to find the hotel and the documents. Unfortunately I couldn’t remember where it was so we went back to the Police station and they took Pete instead who could speak German. He did find it and Dave was still there as he was too ill to come out with us. He was terrified when the police car rolled up with Pete - it was quite late by then. He was so fed up he cashed in all his holiday money and flew home later the same day.
He obviously couldn’t stand the rock star pace
brian rider
The TONi jingle
The TONI hair colour picture reminded me of the jingle that went with it.
It went something like this-
"How do you tell a TONI.
T O N I Toni.
Take a whiff of the lotion
Odour free as a wave can be."
Dick Roorda
Dick Roorda
